I have thought about something, at it occurred to me as a small revelation.
At some point in your life, when dealing with pain, you have probably thought that you'd like to have a heart of stone, so you wouldn't feel all of that.
What I thought is that I'd be really nice to have a heart not of stone, but one that is incapable of self hatred.
^
>at
and
>I'd
it'd
Sorry.
>>5853You can't experience contrition if you harden your heart or if you don't allow self-hatred, although I've never really viewed it as a hatred of a self. It's just a hatred of qualities.
>>5856I don't need contrition. Contrition is a tool to let yourself be subjected by someone superior. I am tired of it. I think human interaction shouldn't be driven by feelings, but by reasonable consideration of circumstances. This convoluted hell of emotions and feelings is unmanageable.
>>5857I think a large part of that mental hellscape for you is the unwillingness to change or to experience emotions as they come.
I have been working like crazy the past few months. Not only at my job, doing overtime almost every week, but also working my ass off in college. The term is finally coming to an end next week on Monday and boy am I glad for it. Although I am working extra super duper hard this week to ensure everything is done in time and my finals go well while also working overtime. Please pray for me friends.
I am a parasite without a host. This is so tough.
Can’t even enjoy sports anymore because it’s riddled with degenerate gamblers, games are probably rigged so bookies can make it big, and there’s ads for onlyfans and betting apps everywhere. The commentators now have betting experts and they don’t even make good calls, they just rage bait the audience and each other to generate views. No fun.
Everything is fine, friends. I'm sure it just needs a bit more time to settle down. Maybe the problem is that I don't believe it fully even now. Some change is just hard like that. I'm fine, really.
i dont know how to spot people to speak to and idk about stereotypes
>>5900Speak to for what? Stereotypes aren't important and don't have to be relied on.
Why are some people so petty do they enjoy self harm or something?
Anyway another wet dream today. Were deploying sports equipment with some dudes, then a very sexually appealing girl came around and… Not that this kind of dream surprises me anymore, but darn. Sometimes need to vent it.
>>5913Some people can't let go or can't regulate their emotions so they lash out at every perceived slight. Self-harm is usually for the sake of self-punishment or thrill seeking, it's not related to pettiness.
>>5914But being petty is self harm and self neglect.
>>5915No it isn't. It's a symptom of being inconsiderate of others and thoughtless.
If you want advice on how not to be petty then learning to accept different perspectives and how to be considerate of other people's emotional states is vital. Hanging around petty people will only exasperate the issue of wanting to get back for perceived slights, and you need to build up temperance before you can challenge yourself in such a way.
A petty person harms themselves by being petty, because being petty reinforces the negative loop, increasing pettiness and unhappiness. Did you ever see a petty person being content with their life?
>>5919I can understand a sub-optimal word choice, it's okay, but some of your intended meaning may be lost.
Being vindictive can be harmful to oneself. Noticing that behavior and understanding the harm it causes requires wisdom, but most people aren't wise. Because of that, people can be petty even if it's self-detrimental. But wise people (especially those who are well off) can be petty too, in which case it would be indulgence.
>>5918That's petty in the sense of being small, I thought it was petty in the sense of caring deeply about minor grievances.
>>5920It's actually more petty to be vindicative over something you know is minor than it is to be so without knowing it, it's not very indulgent.
>>5920I think wise people only act petty because sometimes the animal within prevails. The perfect wise man would never be petty. But most people prefer to give up the point entirely instead of realizing that being imperfectly wise is better than being imperfect in vice.
c o r t i s o l
>>5949Are you frustrated at something?
>>5951Nope. Look, no one cares but I have to do something with c o r t i s o l don't I? Well ain't got much choice.
>>5952You can go for a run.
>>5953Nah too slepy. Easier to drop a post. Also strained my back a bit so can't get comfortable and fall asleep. Sigh.
Anons can someone tell me something fun to do all im doing all day is browsing imageboards
>>5967Play a game. I'm liking helldivers.
>>5967Play chess until you feel it also stopped being fun. Then play this:
https://embair.itch.io/konkr
>>5967Learning to use raylib library engine that binds together with FreeBasic programming language.
>>5967Grind C++ leetcode
It's okay if you feel completely stupid the whole first month. That's the intended experience
I'm growing too comfortable again. Can't stop it either. Free will my ass
>>6005Be kind to your ass.
>>6009No, that would agitate it.
>>6011But maybe then it'll get bored and run away?
>>6012If your ass is running away then you need to get that checked.
>>6013Or kick it on its way out so it leaves me alone for a while. Like, it's never truly solitary when you have an ass messing around!
>>6014You shouldn't be mean to your ass.
I'm bored… are there any good dating simulators…
>>6072Muv Luv extra kinda
>>6074What, thank you anon! I'll get it now since PPSSPP runs well!
>>6073Thanks anon! I heard of Muv Luv but I heard it was huge so didn't get into it..
>>5194I struggle to find games/anime/VNs I really like. I know they are out there. Muv Luv is pretty good but feels trashy sometimes. Its easy to fall into despair.
Novels are horribly wordy. Poems are much better.
>>6074I like these kinds of games but sometimes they make me feel sad for wasting my teen years being lonely on purpose. I wonder if dating sims like this actually help you out or if they just make you worse by giving you an easy outlet?
>>6101Eh, they helped me because I began to see life as more organized and into various regions like stats.
The simplification was really useful. Learning about girls as tropes was also impactful on me, I still don't know how there hasn't been a book comparing people by their tropes.
They aren't that bad, but they serve their purpose in getting your time used up somehow.
>>6074I want the shy girl that stands behind everyone else does she have a good route or not?